But, You Know, Bisexual Vampires Are Totally Cool

Sanya Weathers on… um, lots. Mostly about That Girl In Vent You All Know. But also about Twilight!

The sound of your voice is like a vampire’s fang. Not that we believe in vampires, unlike you. And seriously, side note, grow up. The Twilight books are shitty fantasy lite for twelve year olds who are afraid of sex. None of the Cullen boys could get it up with a vacuum pump and a squad of fluffers, from what we can tell.

Sadly, That Girl still has better gear than I do.

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36 Responses to But, You Know, Bisexual Vampires Are Totally Cool

  1. mystery says:

    I swear to god, the Qt3 guild on Moonrunner has at least 3 of these girls.

  2. Athryn says:

    Naw, I left to join another guild, so there aren’t as many as there used to be!

    😛

  3. Jeff says:

    I actually liked Twilight, and I am neither 12 nor afraid of sex.

    As to the rest of it, I’m glad I don’t have to deal with that in my WoW guild or Warharhammer guild. Well, technically my Warhammer guild moved back to WoW because…well, no need to get into that again, right?

    But neither of my WoW guilds on either server they are have anywhere near this kind of drama. I guess that’s because anyone that cause’s a tenth of what was described is booted pretty quick.

  4. Freakazoid says:

    I must be pretty fortunate not to have that girl in any guilds I’ve been in.

  5. Iconic says:

    Reading comprehension destroys all of you.

    “That girl” isn’t in the guild. She’s the wife of some one in the guild.

  6. Jeff says:

    @Iconic

    I was a little confused. Why is the girl in vent whining if she is not playing the game or in the guild?

  7. Ironwood says:

    It’s about a shrewish nagging wife who heckles her hubby to ‘stop playing that game and spend some time with me’, though that’s not the actual tactic she uses.

    Hubby should get a divorce. They only cost 49.95 from Black & Decker.

  8. Openedge1 says:

    Hmmm…I do not comprehend this.
    My wife is a gaming wife. My wife is the one who always tells me when we will play.
    She also is the one that tells everyone she is bisexual.

    This article makes no sense.

  9. Cedia says:

    Female gamers like that give us all a bad name. 😦 Every time I get in a group with one I put a flag next to their name: “I’m special”. Then I easily avoid them like the plague in the future.

  10. Sanya says:

    I actually stripped out all the gender references, except for the link to Scott’s old post (which is definitely bitching about a female).

    There are more female spouses with these… issues… than male spouses, true. But when you find the male of the species, it makes up for being a rare spawn by being ten times more psychotic.

  11. Steve says:

    What’s really sad is the infinitely superior vampire film “Let the Right One In” was released at the same time as “Twilight”, but despite good reviews made comparatively little money (about 1/100th, according to boxofficemojo).

  12. D-0ne says:

    I’m still trying to discard the personal shame of living a life that involved playing a MMRPG 20+ hours a week. Absolutely my worst three years as a person. The idea of taking time away from my family (five people who deserve my time) to spend time with “those” people was a huge mistake in judgment.

    No parent has the right to “me” time. You might get some, but it sure as Hell isn’t a right. Want me time? Don’t have children.

    To complain about the people met vicariously while indulging in a life sucking black hole of never ending greed and jealousy? Um, just who does one expect to meet? Someone normal? No, we’re all psychopaths and psychotics. No, really. Our hobby is all about killing monsters and taking things off their corpses. We aren’t right in the head.

    We should expect to meet the most Histrionic individuals on the planet.

    God bless.

  13. damn you, capitalism! says:

    D-0ne :…(snip)…God bless.

    At least I know my monsters are figments of someone’s imagination. Psycho.

  14. Abalieno says:

    Isn’t that Deyth site?

  15. D-0ne says:

    damn you, capitalism! :

    D-0ne :…(snip)…God bless.

    At least I know my monsters are figments of someone’s imagination. Psycho.

    Tighten your tinfoil hat… Your thoughts are escaping.

  16. Ironwood says:

    “No parent has the right to “me” time. You might get some, but it sure as Hell isn’t a right. Want me time? Don’t have children.”

    That’s total horseshit. If you’re lucky enough to be Dual-Parenting (heh) then your SO should be giving you some hours, if not a whole day, a week to take some me time.

    Sunday in my house is Daddies day. That’s the Day I take the daughter the hell out of Mommies way and let her get some peace.

    It’s the only way to stay sane.

  17. Female Gamer says:

    D-One, if the only people you associated with are people who are not “normal”, you should be looking in the mirror, not the monitor. And yes, parents DO have a right to time for themselves, just like any other human being does. It’s people who treat their children like owners, rather than like family members, who raise the “special snowflakes” that wind up being … well, the person in Sanya’s rant. The modern “child-centered family” seems to be mostly good at producing self-centered children.

    I’m married to a non-gamer. There are times when it’s a strain. We’ve been married since before MMORPGs existed, at least in a mass-market sense, so that wasn’t a consideration at the time. Gaming is my time-sucking hobby of choice. Sure, I wish my husband was a gamer too, because we could have wonderful fun together, but it’s not his thing. On the plus side, he brings dinner to the computer on raid nights.

    Psychopaths and psychotics?I’ve met some wonderful people through gaming. Some of them have become real-life friends. Sure, I’ve met some nutcases, too, but I’ve met some nutcases in real life. When you figure that a typical gaming guild is significantly larger than the average person’s real-life social group, you’ll get more of everything.

    The previous poster missed one important point: Our hobby isn’t about killing monsters and taking things off their corpses, any more than chess is about commanding armies and winning wars. Our hobby is about having fun in a game and socializing with other people who enjoy the same game. The mobs and the lewtz aren’t real; the people are. What we’re doing isn’t the important part, any more than the actual act of a ball going into a hoop is the important part of basketball. It’s the process of making it happen, the actions of the team, that are important. A team can be moving a ball into the basket or through the goalposts or into the net or out of the ballpark … doesn’t matter. The fun is in moving the ball around, not the specifics of where it’s moved to. The fun in a MMO is playing as a team, not the animations of rats or goblins or Illidan falling over.

    We’re no less “right in the head” than, say, my landlord, who devotes his summers to beating up a little ball with a club until it goes and hides in a hole, and his winters to obsessing about beating up that little ball as soon as the snow is off the ground. It’s called golf, so he’s called normal, even though he’s taking time away from his children to play it.

  18. EpicSquirt says:

    I am not married to a non-gamer. But sometimes it feels like I am. At least she acknowledges that living in different universes is possible. This way I am able to say stuff like “Sorry hun, I can’t, I am in a different universe right now” when I am busy.

    I agree with the above poster, MMOs are about laughing your ass off with friends. The game itself is secondary, to me an MMO or any other online game is then successful when it can maintain a group of friends playing together for at least a year.

  19. D-0ne says:

    Ironwood :
    “No parent has the right to “me” time. You might get some, but it sure as Hell isn’t a right. Want me time? Don’t have children.”
    That’s total horseshit. If you’re lucky enough to be Dual-Parenting (heh) then your SO should be giving you some hours, if not a whole day, a week to take some me time.
    Sunday in my house is Daddies day. That’s the Day I take the daughter the hell out of Mommies way and let her get some peace.
    It’s the only way to stay sane.

    You have one child? OK. OK. You’re right. My bad.

  20. D-0ne says:

    Female Gamer :

    Sure, I wish my husband was a gamer too, because we could have wonderful fun together, but it’s not his thing. On the plus side, he brings dinner to the computer on raid nights.

    Go in to see a psychiatrist and explain to them, in detail, what your hobby is and how much time you spend doing it. Seriously.

    Gamers aren’t an overly defensive group, are they?

  21. Micah S says:

    @D-0ne
    Control your spawning and you won’t have a problem. Also, if your spawn are older than a toddler and you have no free time ever something is wrong. Get the child a book. Tell the child to play outside. Seriously you are a parent not a non-stop entertainment machine.

  22. Moorgard says:

    D-0ne :
    No parent has the right to “me” time.

    If you got this edict from a doctor, therapist, or spiritual advisor, I sincerely suggest that you get yourself a new one, because they’ve given you poor advice.

    If you developed this platitude on your own, seek out a doctor, therapist, or spiritual advisor with real experience in the parenting field and they will explain why this point of view is misguided.

    Your heart is in the right place, but parenting is not about surrendering your sense of personal identity. I concur with the other posters that every parent needs some “me” time which is planned and conducted in a way that doesn’t leave the child neglected or imperiled. I’m not talking about tuning out your kids for 20 hours a week, but rather arranging bits of time here and there to go to the mall, see a movie, or hang out with friends.

    You clearly carry a lot of guilt over placing MMO gaming above your family for an extended period of time, and while offering yourself up as a cautionary example is great, that doesn’t mean you should unilaterally pass judgment upon other gamers who know where to draw the line.

  23. Bleaktea says:

    I think we’ve already established that the “gamers” D-One rails against are mythical creatures, like unicorns; they exist only in the fantasy narrative of his life, where their role is to give him someone to feel superior to.

    You can’t take him seriously, because he’s not talking about serious things. He might as well be complaining about kobolds. I mean, yes, he could be right that kobolds are bad – but there’s not much we can do about it, since they also don’t exist.

  24. Adam says:

    D-One sounds like the type of parent we all hate at Little League games, who insists his precious child is the center of the world and every call and coaching decision that goes against him is proof that people hate him. Or that the teacher that says his kid misbehaves or gives him a bad grade should be fired because his kid is perfect and the teacher just hates him. Or that he couldn’t have *possibly* wanted to drink or smoke pot, he’s a great kid and his friends are just corrupting him.

    Seriously dude, get help. Just because you choose to make every single waking hour ever revolve around your children does not mean that’s a common, normal, or healthy choice. Most people love their kids and spend lots of time with them, but to claim you should *never* get any time to yourself is absolutely insane. You bounced from one extreme right to the other, and you’re likely smothering your kids and making yourself mentally unstable in the process.

  25. D-0ne says:

    Defensive much?

    I’m fine really. So are my children. Thanks for your concern. Sanya is right.

    I’m going to go re-evaluate my life.

  26. Bleaktea says:

    I feel bad about getting off topic. I will tell a story.

    We had one guildmember who quit the game to spend more time with his wife. He said his goodbyes, cleaned out his mailbox, and logged out. The next day he was back – he’d gone to his wife, and she’d promptly turned him around and sat him back down at the computer with the admonishment that he needed to relax and the game made him happy.

    We like her.

  27. Turlow says:

    About Pysco-Chicks: There seems to be an age limit on them. I’ve never run into one over 30. I only join older guilds now and the drama is minimal. The female gamers over 30 all seem sane, normal people to me.

    About Parenting: I’m not a parent and have no plans to ever be one. Being an uncle is close enough to me. I remember my sister put her first born at the center of her world, until he hit two. Then came her famous (famous in our family anyway) quote, “Honey, YOU are watching Nathan for the next two days! I will be at Mom’s. I’ll be back when I’m sane.” She learned the hard way she had to make time for herself to decompress.

  28. Ashendarei says:

    that’s a good story 🙂

    and I think we all have met at least ONE person in our MMO history that fit the discription Sanya laid out there. Thankfully, the boundaries of the internet make it extremely easy to discover just how psycho some of these people are before meeting them IRL (although guild meetups can be a HELLOVA lot of fun!)

  29. pharniel says:

    bleaktea – your buddy has unlocked the Awesum Wife achievment.

    Long may he game!

  30. Drey says:

    Folks, please do not feed the troll. D-One has proven repeatedly that he’s not about positive contribution here, he’s about seeing how much of a rise he can get out of folks.

  31. Stupid says:

    Erm, wait… what?

  32. Female Gamer says:

    Defensive?

    Well, yeah, when someone flat-out calls me crazy, I do tend to get defensive. But then again, so does everyone; if we didn’t, that would be crazy.

    Speaking of crazy, if you insist on spending every moment with your children 24/7, you’re going to raise some neurotic kids. Everyone needs “me time”, kids included. Allowing no time for yourself means allowing them no time for themselves. Even those people who don’t have kids of their own should remember their own childhoods, and the time they spent out playing with their friends, the time they spent in their rooms with a book, and all the other time that didn’t have hovering parents in it. You’re not being loving and devoted; you’re being smothering.

    Incidentally, I have discussed my hobby with a mental health professional. She thought it sounded interesting and fun.

  33. wilhelm2451 says:

    I see Stephen King is jumping on the Sanya bandwagon. Yahoo has him on the front page this afternoon saying, “Stephenie Meyer can’t write worth a darn. She’s not very good.”

  34. Iconic says:

    “Stephenie Meyer can’t write worth a darn. She’s not very good.”

    If Stephen King had really written that, it would have run on and on with no apparent direction or an ending in sight until it died of self induced boredom. Or maybe he only does that with his novels.

  35. wilhelm2451 says:

    You’ve got me there Iconic. The part I quoted was a long, run-on sentence that ended with, “Stephenie Meyer can’t write worth a darn.” I just cut to the chase since “Twilight Sucks” seemed to be today’s random theme.

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