Salvation of Gaming As We Know It Delayed To February

Darkfall, previously scheduled to free our minds, await the following of our asses on January 22, finally described the scheduling of the last, best hope of MMO gaming.

To break it down:

  • Releasing an MMO is hard and stuff but they have to get it right because this is going to save us all from those goddam carebear monstrosities and you know you’re gonna wait for it anyway so stfu
  • Hardest of hard hardcore hardness to be invited into a beta on January 22 and if you’re not playing Darkfall by then you are a loser and should pray for death
  • It’s going to take time to set up the billing system because god knows uncounted millions of people around the world and possibly elsewhere are going to be up for this on the first day, you know it
  • Beta was delayed a couple weeks, but only because the developers are so totally awesome that they knew they had to and if you weren’t such a freakin’ ladyboy you’d understand that
  • Launch may be staggered after the official date because the Internet itself may have to be reconfigured to route traffic properly to Darkfall servers. Pre-order and beta customers will get in first because everyone else is useless and should, as noted earlier, pray for swift death
  • Darkfall is only planned to launch in Europe at this time because Americans are worthless and weak and fat slobs who totally could never win against your main.
  • ” Hype surrounding Darkfall is huge right now, despite our best efforts.”

25 Responses to Salvation of Gaming As We Know It Delayed To February

  1. Ryan Meray says:

    Damn, I want a Lumspeak translator of my own. It should make reading the news fun again.

  2. Mongkongo says:

    What’s Darkfall?

  3. JuJutsu says:

    “What’s Darkfall?”
    The sequel to Dark and Light?

  4. dartwick says:

    To be honest they keep saying the right stuff.

    They could be lying(which happens a lot in MMOs.) But if they are telling the truth or nearly so then they are handling the release as well as any tiny developer could.

  5. Brandon Reinhart says:

    LOL WUT?

    Go play Dwarf Fortress. The only game worth a damn.

  6. Metta says:

    hey, at least they’re releasing something… if you’ve gone sour, Lum, try making Lumonade :p

  7. Syncaine says:

    Why look, the return of the same UO Lum that was getting ripped regularly on wtfman. Welcome back!

  8. Moorgard says:

    You should have titled this post “Bait.”

  9. Chris Mancil says:

    Yeah, but what does this have to do with Shadowbane?

  10. D-0ne says:

    I’m not worthy.

  11. Vetarnias says:

    The backlash has already started, it would seem.

    What an unprofessional attitude on Aventurine’s part. You take great pains to decide on a release date, just seven weeks after the announcement, and then you push it back? And what to think of pre-orders on a game nobody’s even seen?

    If this is some promotional stunt, that’s starting to backfire.

  12. Paks says:


  13. Openedge1 says:

    Perspective (as I have posted in many places)

    **Development started in 2001, with a supposed Alpha that same year.

    **In 2005 Tasos announced a month delay for beta. Then no one heard from the company again for a WHOLE YEAR!

    The way that this post discusses the various points (the lovely angry speak) is the same way the lead Dev talks to the prospective player base…always a win…NOT!!!

    I smell ether and air here, with a wafting aroma of POO! We call it Darkfall!

  14. Athryn says:

    I’ve never even heard of this MMO.

  15. Memnock says:

    These are real people’s lives you’re messing with, here. A COMPANY IS AT STEAK!

  16. Orrey says:

    ya all 10k possible users of this game world wide – actual paying customers not forum wienies – will be real disappointed. God how long will we over estimate Hardcore PvP demand? Didnt UO prove this a myth 8 years ago?

  17. Freakazoid says:

    @Chris Mancil
    Dark = Shadow

    Fall = Bane (in the sense that something will fail or have a weakness)

  18. Nerd Rage says:

    Mmmmm… steak.

    Truth be told, I’d probably try it out, though I do have a set of criteria I have developed for situations such as this.

    I will try Darkfall if:
    – I’m really bored
    – It’s reasonably stable
    – I’ve seen evidence to indicate it is not utter crap
    – I’m really bored
    – It doesn’t cost me more than $30
    – 4 out of 5 girls at the airport platinum palace recommended it between lap dances
    – The girls at the airport platinum palace leave me with only $30 and thus nothing else to do (except get 6 more lap dances during happy hour tomorrow… heyo!)

    Seriously. If I’m going to throw away money on something that doesn’t deliver…

  19. Vetarnias says:

    Memnock :
    These are real people’s lives you’re messing with, here. A COMPANY IS AT STEAK!

    Sorry, but “A company is at steak!” was for Funcom.

    As for Darkfall, I think it has “train wreck” written all over it, but at the same time, if it isn’t prohibitively expensive and doesn’t look like it’s going to permanently wreck my computer or have me frantically calling Visa when I receive my bill, who knows, I’d love to be a witness to said wreck so I can comment on it.

  20. Vetarnias says:

    Freakazoid :
    @Chris Mancil
    Dark = Shadow
    Fall = Bane (in the sense that something will fail or have a weakness)

    I’d be more tempted to say it’s more like Dark and Light, without the Light, and hopefully without the legal issues.

  21. Mercury says:

    I still don’t have my integration kit for this game… *cough* That must be the delay.

  22. VPellen says:

    If anybody wants me, I’ll be over in this corner faking astonishment.

  23. Vykromond says:

    Vetarnias :
    Sorry, but “A company is at steak!” was for Funcom.

    Nah, it was Glitchless

  24. Merc says:

    I love the smell of vaporware in the morning.

  25. EpicSquirt says:

    The game is better on paper than all the crap out there currently. Thinking about vaporware is more rewarding than playing what’s out there.

    I’ve been told that it won’t be out before summer 2009, so you can make it winter 2009, maybe.

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